Diary of a Grammatical Misfit

This blog is giving me technical issues - technological problems that have me holding my head in my hands and moaning while hearing that cajoling inner whisper: ”throw the bloody computer out of the window…go on do it…one day you know you’ll give in, why not today eh?” 

But I have resisted (so far) and despite a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t really worth the agony, I have slightly rejigged my sidebar to include (“ta-da!”) a blog roll. It also seems to include other stuff that I decided against in the end but hopefully they will disappear again, when the mood takes them. And hopefully I will overcome the frustration again to add other blogs that should be on there already but for which my finite supply of patience dried up.

Hmmm, dried up suggests sun baking away water from a lake. Perhaps I should have said bled dry or sucked up - both of which more aptly describe the demanding draining effect of computery type things and the gremlins that reside within them!
 
Anyway, for the sake of myself and others, I will not attempt to do any more until the next time I am at a computer with no weapon-like implements nearby. And preferably nowhere near an openable window. And with chocolate, just in case the savage beast* needs soothing.

In the meantime, I’ve managed to get some of them on there - only a year after I first attempted it!

* Me. Not the computer. Though if it could be bribed with chocolate it would make things so much easier!

I promise to never again neglect you as badly as I have the last two months.

I promise to give you the due care and attention you so richly deserve as the siphon of my frustration, the aid to my occasionally reticent memory, my outlet for bumbling mumblingness.

I promise to never again be deterred by crappy slow internet connection (dial-up! in this day and age, I ask you!), by too-easily-crashed windows, by exorbitant internet cafe fees in remote towns.

I promise to never again be distracted by the wonders of amazing scenery, by long summer afternoons sipping beer knowing work is thousands of miles away, by penguins and dolphins and seals and other creatures unworthy of my attention when you, dear blog, go unloved.

This I promise to you because I feel I must. And because, unlike most promises made at this time of year, I stand a good chance of keeping this one*.

Lots of love,

Grammatical Misfit xx

* Well, at least until I next get the chance to skip the country for 6 weeks which looks like NEVER given the current state of my credit card bills!

Thanks to the clearing out of some of my drafts (’clearing’ in the sense of thinking “fuck it, so what if they’re crap” and sticking them on the blog), this is my 200th post. Which is cause for a mini-celebration.

So I’ll go “yay” in a quiet little voice, while sitting here on the train.

No-one is likely to notice and even if they do I don’t care. They probably think I’m a bit weird anyway. Coz although a lot of city types do ‘casual clothes fridays’ I am the only one in this metal box packed full of commuters that is sitting here in jeans, a jumper and walking boots. And I have a whacking great big suitcase over in the luggage rack too.

Which is the reason for the proper celebration: “I’M FLYING TO NEW ZEALAND TONIGHT!!” (I didn’t shout that out loud - I’m not quite overwhelmed by excitement enough for that!)

Or, to be strictly accurate, I fly out of the UK tonight. I arrive in New Zealand on Sunday.

I’m swapping work and commuting for sightseeing and fun. I’m going to have another midsummer’s day rather than a midwinter’s night. I’ll still get Christmas buildup but it will be carol singing with my relatives in Australia wearing tshirts and shorts rather than hats and scarves (and that is going to seem weird frankly!). And I will return home on Christmas Eve, which, being my favourite day of the year, should stop me feeling too miserable about returning to the cold.

Hopefully, wifi and/or internet cafe access permitting, I will be able to post occasionally while away. If not then there’s going to be a long run of New Zealand and Australia related stories being thrown around here come Christmas!

Happy blogday to this,
Happy blogday to this,
Happy blogday diary of a grammatical misfit,
Happy blogday to this.

One year old today. Wow.

When I started this blog, I checked that I could delete the whole lot as I fully expected to write two or three posts then forget all about it and it’s so sad to press the random button on the sidebar and find a blog that someone only ever wrote a handful of posts for. It’s just like the pity I felt for those many, many diaries I had when growing up that started neatly and enthusiastically on Jan 1st but all were cast aside before the daffodils flowered.

But I kept this blog up and it’s been good fun. A good way to let people know what I’ve been doing, a good way to let off steam, a good outlet for writing which has (slightly!) cut down on the length and stupidity of the emails I send to people.

I haven’t managed daily posts but an average rate of half a post per day ain’t that bad. And getting the occasional comment is really nice. Thank you to anyone who reads this that has commented. And please feel free to comment if you haven’t before

One year anniversary is paper. Not sure how I can link paper to blogging, they’re rather contradictory. Maybe I should print out the whole year’s worth of posts in celebration of the day? (Don’t worry environmental people, I won’t!). I’ll just feel slightly contented today, quite pleased with myself for finally managing to keep something vaguely diary-like going for a whole year. I hope it lasts a while longer yet.

In its diary function this blog has rather sucked over the last week. I have made no mention of the spectacularly weird pas de deux between a man and his mechanical digger, nor have I mentioned my friend’s birthday party, the bon voyage party or another friend’s band’s gig that I have enjoyed recently.

This oversight is down to two things. One is the (zillionth this year) cold I have that is making me stupid and unable to write coherently (for work or for pleasure) and the other was a strange man who kept sitting next to me on the train last week and staring at my screen whenever I started writing my blog posts.

It’s terribly inhibiting having someone read over my shoulder as I write. Perhaps it shouldn’t be so, since what I write ends up here on the web - fully accessible to any random person (hello all!) who stumbles across it. But somehow, that’s completely different.

Nice rather than creepy for instance.

And entirely less likely to make we want to punch the person in the eye.

There’s just no way that an article entitled “small object of grammatical desire” can go un-mentioned on a diary of a grammatical misfit.

Apparently the lowly hyphen is being eliminated from our too-fast lifestyles and over-sloppy typing of e-mails and, as such, is gradually disappearing from the slow-to-catch-on OED.

Well phooey! I say.

I care not if there comes a day where not a single hyphen remains in the pages of the beautiful-but fusty, esteemed-but-not-necessarily-adhered-to OED. Hyphens will always be desired here.

After all, my writing is confusing enough even with my confetti-like scattering of hyphens - I dread to think how impossible-to-decipher it would become without them…

I like an excuse to feel pleased with myself so I fully intended to get all celebrationary when I wrote my 100th post. Since I never thought I’d last a month. This is easily the longest running diaryesque thing I’ve ever kept up.

But annoyingly, I forgot. And it has passed.

My 100th post, (for the sake of posterity coz I know I’ll never bother going back through my lists again - blog.com’s not helpful enough to number the buggers), was entitled Stuff what I think (today) and it was last week.  

Bollocks. If I’d realised it was the big 100 I would have at least come up with a decent title.

Today has answered my question of why bother to have a blog - it’s made me appreciate all the efforts of those people who’ve written their blogs over the years and made me laugh/groan/go “hmmm?”.

I love reading other people’s blogs but I’ve hardly ever bothered commenting about those that are good, just accepted them as entertainment and moved on.

I never thought of them as real people until today.

I really AM that stupid.

Not sure I saw that reason coming, but it will do to be getting on with.

Another new blog, another drop in the ocean, taking coals to newcastle etc. Annoyingly I cannot think of any phrase that doesn’t seem tinged with environmental irony - I suppose when the water dries up and the coal is all gone (and probably not in that order) the phrase will be “another blog on the net”.

So why am I doing one? It’s always rather difficult to give proper reasons for something when the best answer seems to be “just because” but here are three:

1. Because I never managed to keep a diary for more than 2 days

2. Because everyone else is doing it

3. Because sarcasm is really easy to convey in written form

OK, so that’ll be my reasons why NOT to blog.

Perhaps I’ll wait and see if that convinces me to forget the whole stupid idea. If not, I guess I’ll carry on.