Post for Friday - in which my mind wanders tangentally
I was struck by thoughts on the train this morning.
There was a horse pissing in a field. It reminded me of one of those safari park programmes where the keeper was saying that you could tell the sex of newborns from a distance by observing the direction of their pee. I could make a silly joke about the inside the toilet bowl versus all around the toilet but that would be too obvious - feel free to insert your own.
Actually, it’s more boring. If they have a penis the urine goes forwards, if they don’t, it goes backwards. At least I think so. I can’t actually remember which way round he said but that would make sense wouldn’t it?
Forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards……….
Evolution is such a funny thing really. We’re all so different yet bodily so similar. Penises, rib cages, skulls etc. So many creatures have penises. Like that absolutely has to be the best method of joining two creatures to reproduce. Seems a bit limited really.
Puzzles are the same. You’d think there’d be more ways of fitting two shapes but they’re nearly all alike. One with a knobbly bit and one with a corresponding hole. Although they are, of course, more adaptable than humans side they can link on all sides…
The horse in the field was a she-horse anyway. Why isn’t it shemale rather than female? Sounds better. There’s probably some reason why it’s not though. It’s probably one of the many things I do not know because I didn’t do Latin. Or maybe Greek. Either or, same reason.
Faces are all quite similar too. Eyes, nose, mouth. Why always placed the same way on the head? Even creatures with more eyes or with no noses have faces that look like faces.
It’s all a bit weird.
Then I realised that this is all too much thought for that time of morning. Why do I always say that? Even when it’s the present and should really be this? I suppose coz you can spit that with the right degree of venom to reflect the disgustingly early nature of the time.
That is not a set time or time period. It’s simply any time that I feel I should really be in bed. The only actual time that can be spat in the same way is four in the morning. Easily adapted coz it’s a four letter word beginning with f - easy to spit out venomously.
Five doesn’t work though does it? Why not? I think it’s just too soft coz of the ive-y bit. Like a rugged building all softened by the ivy. Five. Five. Five. Ivy. Five.
And then I went to sleep.
I saw a squirel peeing off a bridge this morning. (Put me in a good mood for the rest of the morning - what does that say about me as a person?!). But I didn’t think to check the direction of the flow for gender identification purposes. I always tend to think of squirels as female.
I think it says you are amused by animals peeing. That is common - don’t worry!
I think that thinking of all squirrels as female is weirder though. How do you imagine baby squirrels come about?